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timewind

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Najbardziej znana witryna dylanowska w sieci. Codziennie kilkanaście newsów na stronie głównej i jedno z najlepszych forów w temacie.

Oto mały zbiór niektórych moich ulubionych postów z ER (autorem większości z nich jest niejaki Long Johnny - chyba najbardziej kultowa postać tego forum. Gość słynie z humorystycznych i krytycznych opinii na temat koncertów Dylana od lat 88 w górę).

How do you celebrate the birth of a messiah? You dress a fatman in a red costume, you give him a sleigh with reindeer that can fly, you let them throw toys through chimneys right under trees that people placed in their homes and decorated with shiny balls. And people STILL wonder why the 2nd coming is taking so long ...

"White Snows A-Gonna Fall", "Ballad Of A Thin Elf", "Like A Rolling Snowball" [track listing on CITH]

[photo of half-naked dylan]
Wow, eye contact with a topless Bob Dylan.
I am having feelings I shouldn't be having.

As wide an intellectual (not to mention humorous) net as ER casts...I admit I never thought I'd see "anal electrocution" mentioned in any form or context. Bravo.

I'd trade my girlfriend for a vinyl Dylan album anyday! Especially after hearing the US mono of Blonde on Blonde!! Man that blew me (away) more than any girlfriend did!

Pointless, aimless, useless and boring country blues shuffle arrangements with painful incoherent whispered croaked hacked coughed cancer-inflected vocals just ain't my cuppa.[about NET]

If Satan exists, then The Loudness War is his greatest achievement.

When ever I get phlegm in my throat I like to belt out a few Dylan songs before clearing my throat. I do a bitchin' Dylan I tells ya

[thread: Bob Dylan needs your help!]
"Towards the end of the show someone out in the crowd... knew I wasn't feeling too well. I think they could see that. And they threw a silver cross on the stage. Now usually, I don't pick things up in front of the stage. Once in a while, I do. Sometimes I don't. But I looked down at that cross. I said, 'I gotta pick that up'. So I picked up the cross and put it in my pocket... And I brought it backstage and I brought it with me to the next town, which was out in Arizona... I was feeling even worse than I'd felt when I was in San Diego. I said, 'Well, I need something tonight.' I didn't know what it was. I was used to all kinds of things. I said, 'I need something tonight that I didn't have before.' And I looked in my pocket and I had this cross."

In light of Dylan's inveterate plagiarism, someone needs to throw him the key to his brain. If you have the resources and a good arm, toss him a dose of DMT. It is a powerful, visual psychedelic which produces short-acting effects when smoked. It is naturally produced in the human brain and by many plants. Later, when he releases a masterpiece album of visionary lyrics, we can say, "Mission accomplished."

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If the Never Ending Tour ended tomorrow:
If Bob woke up tomorrow and decided he was through with touring- the NET was over- what would you like to see him do with his remaining years?
Open a chain of fried chicken restaurants.

Most live bands suck 90%* of the time so the Grateful Dead are actually not bad, just ridiculously overrated.
* The NET holds the current record sucking 112% of the time on average.

My sister is a better bass player than Wyman, and I don't even have a sister.

Mike Love (not war) [singer of The Beach Boys]

You've completely invalidated what you said by highlighting She's a rainbow as a good song, it's a crime against humanity.

Let me be as clear as I can. You're a moron.

Some of Self Portrait is bad - his cover of "The Boxer" really should have resulted in either prison time or a few hundred hours of community service.

Empire Burlesque which, regardless of all attempts to defend it, is a colossal piece of worthless crap, ends with "Dark Eyes" which is pretty much crap-free.

[alternative version of Jolene's chorus]
Jolene, Jolene
Baby I dont care
that you're only fourteen

If somehow someone played Love and Theft, Modern Times, or Together Through Life for Bob in the 60s, without telling him it was him, what would he think? Would he like it? Would he make fun of the voice?
He'd say, "Hey, I recognize those old tunes" on about half of them.
60s Bob would think the NET sucks. Anybody with half a brain thinks the NET sucks. Ask George W. Bush, he has half a brain, I'll bet you he thinks the NET sucks.

The Beatles, when they toured, played before screaming obnoxious fans and were impossible to hear clearly and were just a pale imitation of their brilliant studio recordings.
It was this, of course, that gave Bob the idea for the NET.

What I'd like to see is for the NET to hire a lead singer. I'm totally serious about that; Dylan would play a bit of harp and direct things from a keyboard that had no power cord.

Things you'd say to Bob Dylan:
"hey, somebody said Bob Dylan walked this way, have you seen him go by?"

Robbie Williams once said "for a box to be rude, the rude must be in a different box".I don't know what it means, but I wanted to be clever and funny.

Bob's voice can be made more enjoyable and socially acceptible through the wearing of earphones. Just make sure you don't plug them in.

The negativity is stupid because you disagree with it, right? By that token, I guess the threads about Bob's underwear must be brilliant.

In 2000 head honchos from Sony Records had been promised a meet-and-greet with Dylan. It kept getting cancelled until the last night of the UK tour at Wembley when he was found in the car park lying under a tour van with his head on a pillow. When reminded he had the meet-and-greet he replied simply: “Yeah. Why do you think I’m lying here?”

tumorboy, if anyone asks, I'll be missing in action for a while. Don't know if it was a bad dream or bad acid but I had a vision of Bob dressed as Jesus telling me to back off the NET bashing. Kinda like Bob's "Jesus tapped me on the shoulder" moment. Anyway... (God, I can't believe I'm asking you this Shocked

) ... Can you recommend some NET shows for me?
I recommended about 300 shows... to start with. I think he'll be a changed man when he returns.

what is the NET?
It is a the most marvelous, wonderous, gift of a loving, benevolent God, bestowed upon humankind through the live music (from 1988/9 to the present) of Bob Dylan. Reminiscent of a chorus of the heavenly host singing, it's glory and grandeur is surpassed only by creation itself.

emanuel

szczerze? nie wiem czy komukolwiek będzie się chciało czytać takiego długiego posta po angielsku na polskojęzycznym forum Wink

timewind

Wiesz...forum jest polskojęzyczne, ale jeśli ktoś jest fanem twórczości Dylana to jego znajomość angielskiego z pewnością jest na poziomie umożliwiającym zrozumienie tych tekstów

Jeśli zagląda tu ktoś kto udziela się na expectingrain.com to z pewnością nie raz się zaśmieje przypominając sobie niektóre cytaty.

A tak przy okazji to mała aktualizacja Very Happy

What Are You Listening To Now?
Aaarghhh - Brutal Psycho Mystical Grind (97)
it's pretty bad actually.

Am I the only Dylan fan on this site that isn't a total poser?
You're just a partial poser.

The Shot of Love thread got me listening to this album and now I am tokin' in the name of the Lord!

a great opener... if you're ten minutes late arriving.

how bout billy corgan of the smashing pumpkins, the guy is amazing.
How about no.

This is the worst post I have ever read.
Coming from you, I'll take that as a huge compliment

Seriously, is there anything more wonderful, more sublime, than Bob doing an electric guitar solo? Seriously? We need more of this during 2010. Bob's going to the Far East again, he was in South America in 2008 when he began to play guitar each night again (even if it was for only a couple of songs)... he's an ambassador... an ambassador of goodwill and peace on that guitar. When he's soloing, everything in the universe feels in balance and harmony.

Good to see you're proud enough of your mental illness to share it with the world mate.

He does seem relatively down beat. He's just sad because the NET is kicking some major ass right now, and that crushes his whole world view. It's like a Christian finding out that the Hindus have the true religion.

You're the current winner, Harry! How does it feel?
I have to say that this is the best award I have won today!

Not to mention the mysterious masterpiece called Wiggle Wiggle. What in the world is that one about? It's just too deep, man.

Thread: Karma comes round for Pope Benedict
In 1997-Pope Benedict was opposed to Bob Dylan appearing at a youth event with the late Pope John Paul because he considered the pop star the wrong kind of "prophet."
In 2010-Dylan was excluded from the list [of the Vatican's top ten rock and pop albums of all time] despite his “great poetic vein” because he paved the way for generations of unprofessional singer-songwriters who have “harshly tested the ears and patience of listeners” with their tormented stories.
Today - Abuse Scandal Edges Closer To Pope Benedict
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Whether it's karma or just the results of consistent bad judgment, Pope Benedict may be asked to step down.
LESSON OF THE DAY: DON'T DIS BOB!

That's why ER is so great. Start a thread about Beethoven and you'll end up with titty pictures, start a thread about panties and you get poetry...plus some nice artwork

I'll say this, though... if House Of The Rising Sun doesn't win, you're all a bunch of Socialist Nazi Communists!

I think that they are both really amazing stories! Who would have thought people on internet forums could have such interesting lives!? Amazing!

i keep having stuff like that happen, like i'll just get a feeling that i should go to a certain record store, and i find something i really want, or that if i wait at the station at a particular time somebody will show up.
i can also travel fowards and backwards in time.

A few years ago I was driving along and Like A Rolling Stone came on the radio.
Just then a large boulder fell from a cliff face on a mountain above and hit the road.

[about Knocked Out Loaded]
There are two good things to say about this album. One is "Brownsville girl", the other is 35' 30".

timewind

I just wanted to put it out there that I consider the Never Ending Tour to be the best entertainment available to our generation, and possibly to any generation, ever. I hope you agree, but if you don't, I want you to know it's because you're wrong. Many things in life are debatable - freedom of speech, the earth being round, no meaning no - but the Supremacy of the Never Ending Tour and everything it encompasses - which includes me and you, mister - is beyond suspicion, questioning, or deliberation.

Christmas In the Heart shines like the star of Bethlehem, reigning over Bob's imaginative, wonderful career.
Blood on the Tracks is just one of his better pre-80s albums.

I've done the maths, and Knocked Out Loaded is 30.4 % masterpiece. (Brownsville Girl expressed as a percentage of total album.)
This actually compares favourably with Blonde on Blonde, which is only 26.5 % masterpiece. (Visions of Johanna and Sad Eyed Lady expressed as a percentage of total album.)
In fact, it's only beaten by Blood on the Tracks, which is 52.6% masterpiece. (Tangled, Idiot Wind, Jack of Hearts, and If You See Her expressed as a percentage of total album.)
Empire Burlesque is 0.37% masterpiece. ("Oh time is short and the days are sweet/and passion rules the arrow that flies" expressed as a percentage of total album.)

[BOTT vs CITH]
I'd rather get divorced 100 times than listen to CITH ever again!

Which Bob album makes you the most violent?
For this bracket, I'm voting for Empire Burlesque

swear, I've seen legal advertisements on television concerning this one. " Are you prone to random outbursts for no apparent reason? Recent studies have shown that even minor exposure to Down In The Groove can cause violent behavior. Legal help may be available to you..."

God loved the chicken and invented the egg. Man loved the chicken and invented KFC.

Why is Bob still the best?
HIS HATS GIVE HIM SUPER-POWERS.

Nashville Skyline of course.
Just listening to it myself alone at my house this afternoon while the kids ate chocolate eggs in the yard made me want to rise up, take up arms and overthrow the rulers of society.
Listening to Nashville now as even then when it was released on CD back in 1989 is a powerful thing.
No wonder it inspired the Black Panda movement.
It summed up the rage of the times and the need for a fundamental change in power and the organizational structures.

It's the NET. Clearly someone in China heard some boots. I mean, now all the other countries are having V-8 moments, "Jeeze... I didn't know we could just ban it!"

Dick's Picks are great, but this approach for Dylan makes no sense. Also, the "complete show" idea is awful. Why include the crap? (Which, in the case of the NET means why include the show?)

Woody took less than 2 years to become T status.
Yeah, but I have a life.

[about Christmas In The Heart]
sucks like a supersucking machine stuck on ubersuck mode.

Unfortunately your chances of discovering a way to travel faster than the speed of Light are probably bigger than making Sony see the childishness of their actions.
(To talk about it with Bob himself, you must at least have invented the Light.)

[If you had access to a time machine]
I'd go back and stop the NET anyway I could.

[If you had access to a time machine]
If I had access to a time machine, I'd take all of David Bowie's lyrics and music back to 1967 and perform/record them myself. I would then make a distinct effort not to achieve any mainstream success, so that he would not be aware of my existence. And then a few years later, when Bowie' doing his Ziggy Stardust thing, I'd sue him. Thus, Bowie would be majorly mindfucked when he discovers that all of the songs that he had written were recorded several years earlier by someone that he had never heard of.
And that's my plan to put David Bowie into a mental hospital.

[If Bob Doesn't Tour USA This Summer. . .]
The heavens would open and the Angels would sing and Christ would return, He's been waiting for that noise to stop....

Warren, please. It is not your liking bad music that defines your mental instability. It's...everything else.

A sign of desperation: replying to your own posts.

timewind

A few weeks ago I was in a shop buying some tacks. As I paid the shopkeeper for the tacks he unexpectedly pulled out a large axe and chopped off my arm... blood gushed all over the box of tacks.

Despite the seriousness of the situation I have to admit that I did smile as the blood on the box of tacks obviously made me recall Dylans' wonderful Blood on the Tracks album.

Which album have you recalled whilst being faced with a serious situation?

The best answer will win an arm.